Meeting: How to behave when meeting a boy’s parents
Meeting a boy’s parents is an important and inevitable event in almost every girl’s life. The article will discuss how not to slap your face in the dirt and make a difference. The first contact with a boy’s parents or even the groom is a very responsible and fateful moment. And even the relationship between young people may well depend on how the meeting goes, not to mention subsequent communication with parents. And like any important event, it needs preparation.
Preparing to meet your boyfriend’s parents
Most likely, most girls immediately have thoughts about new outfits, the need to do manicures and pedicures, running in to get a haircut, and so on. However, some things are far more critical than stunning looks. In addition, parents are torn rolls, and you cannot charm them with gorgeous lashes. Something else is required here.
Gather information before meeting your boyfriend’s parents
For communication to run smoothly and without stress, the girl should know some information in advance:
- Parents’ names … are significant because somehow you need to address people. And do not rely on a guy when you meet. He may not introduce the parents by name and first name but calls them “dad and mom.” Therefore, it is better to know that it will not be superfluous. Please note that at the first meeting, it recommended focusing on the naming, not “Aunt Masha and Uncle Sasha.” This style of address is appropriate for further communication. If the parents want to be called that, they will suggest it themselves.
- Employment … In addition, we are not only talking about the profession but also about hobbies. It will provide an additional key to the common language, the communication material. Of course, you need to ask in advance about the specifics of this activity, at least in general.
- Communication nuances … It is essential to get information about the family’s traditions, how it meets guests, and the behavior characteristics at the table. Maybe the aristocratic family and the girl will be offered options for forks. It is important not to get confused. Or relatives like to talk about paintings and poets. In this case, it is essential to check the information about it in advance so that it “does not fall with the face in the mud.”
- Taboo topics … Also, learn about taboo subjects that you should avoid discussing. It will help to prevent possible misunderstandings and embarrassing situations, at least at the first meeting—for example, religion, past, politics.
- Flattery, praise, and criticism … should be a measure of everything. And should give praise in portions; otherwise, it will be regarded as pure flattery that seldom pleases anyone. It is better to refuse criticism altogether. If you do not like something in principle and want to say it, you should be extremely sensitive in choosing your words.
People are so psychologically organized, and modern society’s traditions have evolved so that everyone waits for and loves gifts. It leads to another critical stage of preparation for the meeting.
What to give when you meet a boy’s parents
The best way to answer this question is from the end. Giving gifts at the first meeting is unnecessary, but it is worth it. Such gestures will not be excessive. However, deciding what to give parents when they meet is essential.
The following will be relevant:
- Theme Gifts … Information about the activities and interests of the boy’s father and mother will help to choose them. It will be possible to decide at least on the presentation’s content. Admittedly, it may turn out that the girl will not be able to afford it. But in this case, do not despair.
- Master Plan … It is worthwhile to follow standard rules on how to give gifts at the first meeting for strangers (and they are not yet friends or relatives). For example, providing the boy’s mother with cosmetics, in most cases, will be seen as an indication of age and appearance problems (this is still a woman). In addition, items such as perfumes and cosmetics are very individual. Not every loved one can guess the first time. Likewise, underwear and clothing will be inappropriate.
- Neutral gift … This is ideal, without ambiguity. Also, do not give overly expensive gifts. On the one hand, it can cause the parents to feel indebtedness and discomfort. Worst of all, if they give up on it. On the other hand, in the future, you have to keep the brand, so to speak, or even give something even more expensive. If a girl is handicrafts, you can hand over something made with your hands, especially if the recipient party is not alien to creativity.
But do not forget that excessive originality will also be inappropriate. And this applies not only to gifts but also to clothes, which must take very seriously.
What to wear to meet a boy’s parents
As you know, in most cases, the first impression of a person is formed precisely by his appearance. It is how our society is structured in such a way that their clothes initially judge them. Almost every woman loves to show off her clothes.
But in this case, you should still take into account a few things:
- Meeting girlfriends’ parents is not a romantic date.… There is no point in seducing all the men present and letting the ladies bite their nails in frustration. In addition, the parents of the second half want to see a presumably caring woman next to their son, not the night’s seductive housewife. Then it is best to leave all sexy clothes in the closet. In addition, they can shame the father of a boy who is not only a parent but primarily a man and often, as they say, is still strong and in his prime.
- Tight clothing is an inappropriate outfit for dating … These are not business talks, but a bride, while the atmosphere should be comfortable, not strict. In addition, it will inhibit movement, mainly if the encounter occurs somewhere in nature.
- The best outfit to meet parents … It is best to choose clothes that are comfortable and appropriate at the moment. Naturally tasty. There is no need to put on a lot of glazes or show informal originality, even if, in everyday life, a girl dresses in a “hippie” style. Depending on the season, a beautiful, not too revealing dress, jeans, or trousers with a T-shirt or sweater will be optimal. It is beneficial to consider the wishes of the girlfriend’s mother. After all, if she is biased towards women in trousers, then, for example, jeans can be a significant disadvantage of the overall assessment. And this is another point you should clarify with the boy before you go to the bride.
Do not be afraid to spend a few hours in clothes you may not like but will be approved by your prospective future relatives. The bride, in this case, is the same trend and requires a certain amount of flexibility. Especially if the boy brought the girl to visit his parents, in addition to clothing, you must choose the right line of behavior.
Behavioral characteristics when they meet a boy’s parents
As mentioned before, the outcome of the first meeting can determine not only the different attitudes toward the chosen son but also the young couple’s fate, especially if the father and mother have a specific power over their child and try to arrange his life in their way. However, in this case, it is worth considering whether a girl needs such a gentleman who cannot independently make decisions about his life. All such meetings can be divided into three parts:
- The first introduction.
- The central part (usually, these are conversations at the table).
- The final part (it’s the moment when it’s time to leave and the greeting itself).
Behavior at the first meeting with the boy’s parents
The first minutes are pretty exciting and stressful for most people. And here, it is essential to remember the general code of conduct. In one way or another, it occurs even in ordinary working families, especially among people born in the sixties and eighties of the twentieth century.
Consider how to behave when meeting your parents:
- According to all etiquette, the youngest is always the first to greet. However, the older person raises his hand first. Of course, you should not continue with kisses and kisses. Only in response to light, friendly kisses will be appropriate. And if they were not there, the catastrophe has not have happened yet. There is no need to despair.
- The younger ones should always introduce themselves (or are introduced) first. In this case, the guy introduces the girl first, calling her and his parents names. For example, “Mom, this is Katya. Katya, this is my mom – Varvara Petrovna. Suppose a boy suddenly forgot to give his mother’s name and first name. Still, the girl knows him in advance ( mentioned this at the beginning of the article). In that case, you should not show your consciousness. Better to ask her (or her father). And in further communication, take this way. There is no need to worry and be complicated about the fact that acquaintances with parents will look prim. It is the first moment of the meeting. It will always have contact with formalities. It is perfectly normal.
- We behaved correctly with shoes. The entrance should remove unless the opposite is accepted in the boy’s house (which is unlikely in our country). It would help if you did not demand (ask for) slippers. The housewife decides for herself whether she intends to give them or not. And if they are nevertheless invited, then it is also impossible to refuse. It would help if you put the shoes where the guy’s relatives are. In no case should you push them out of the blanket, if there is one? It can make the housewife angry and make the girl look like a slut.
- After the greeting, the hosts usually offer to go into the living room, for example. Before that, the interest in decoration should be modest. It would help if you did not run to view photographs on the walls or figures on the sideboard. Can express mild interest. If the owners deem it necessary, they will show it all themselves, let you consider it, or offer to do it on their own.
Usually, in our society, most dating and communication take place at the table. Therefore, updating your knowledge of the protocol in this area will be helpful. But the preliminary test is a table conversation.
Tablet behavior when dealing with a boy’s parents.
For every homemaker, the kitchen is her realm. And cooking is a source of pride and one of the hallmarks of savings. And often, conflicts arise on this very basis.
To prevent this from happening, follow these tips:
- On the first day of meeting a girl, it is better not to rush to help with cooking. The kitchen is sacred. No wonder they say two housewives in the same kitchen do not get along. The boy’s mother can only see the reaction to the appearance of an outside woman (girl) here as aggression. It is another matter if she asks for help.
- Comparison with someone is forbidden. I do not want to convey that I recommend that the mother be inactive. For the reasons above, these words can be misunderstood (and probably will be). The same goes for comparisons with famous chefs and dishes from a cafe. The person tried, could show a sense of tact, even if everything did not go “wonderfully” or somewhere it was tastier.
- Moderation not only in words but also in appetite. Even if the girl did not eat anything before she met the parents of her chosen one, it is impossible to eat. Be aware of behaviors. On the other hand, if you do not feel like eating, it is also rude to refuse the entertainment. It would help if you tried at least a little.
- A little compliment will please the expectant mother-in-law. Praising the rights of the host should also be somewhat restrictive but at the same time sincere. Unnatural praise will arouse suspicion or be seen as a desire to flatter.
- We should also treat alcoholic beverages with caution. Although it is a light wine, the girl should drink a little. Alcohol will work more on the body due to agitation. And it’s not a good idea to end the night by being drunk.
- Learn about family etiquette. It is essential to ask the guy in advance what kind of cutlery they use in their family and prepare accordingly.
Of course, you cannot abuse the hosts’ hospitality and stay up late at the table. The first meeting should not take too long, so it is essential to choose the moment and say goodbye in time. For her to leave a pleasant ride after the visitor leaves, it is worth following another proven wisdom.
Code of conduct when meeting a boy’s parents
Every girl should be prepared for the fact that at the first meeting there will be questions about herself and her family, so to speak, the main course. And this is perfectly normal because the father and mother must influence the one chosen by their son, know what she is doing, and her parents to at least sleep peacefully.
However, if a question is out of step, you should avoid the polite answer. And the best solution would be to ask the boy in advance to talk to the parents about the topics that should not touch in the conversation. When parents meet, the questions become different, sometimes with a humorous or heartfelt nature. Answer them confidently and clearly. To do this, it does not hurt to practice answering options at home in advance.
Here are some tips to keep your conversation afloat and avoid awkward and sometimes outrageous situations:
- It is not worth discussing religion and politics. In our turbulent times, these issues, even among celebrities, can cause conflict, not to mention the first encounter.
- It is recommended to avoid adolescence. And from jargon in general, even though lousy romance is sung very actively in our country.
- It would help if you never argued even though the elders try to draw in the youth. It rarely brings any good between strangers. Better to agree or gently change the content.
- It’s better to forget the phrase ‘like mom’ altogether. And comparing your mom’s cooking with the host can lead to disaster!
By the way, the assessment of culinary skills and the behavior at the table requires special attention.
Helpful tips when you meet your boyfriend’s parents
If you adopt tried and tested advice, meetings and communication are much more likely to end in a positive outcome.
There are not so many tricks. They add to everything that has already been said:
- It is not recommended to hug and kiss your lips with your boyfriend at the first meeting with his parents. Do not call him “mine.” Give affectionate nicknames (rabbit, cat, pushechka, etc.).
- Should strongly avoid your leadership in a relationship. Even though this is so, the guy, as they say, is henpecked. He grew up with his mother, but she will not tolerate such an attitude towards her “blood.”
- Should avoid lies. Cheating is not the best start for all relationships.
- It would help if you did not pretend to be an experienced host. You cannot get a boy’s mother with this. However, she considers herself to be much more experienced. Such behavior will only provoke conflict. You can only offer your help when judging the tablet but do it subtly. When you meet parents, it is also better to have tips on serving and serving dishes with you.
- Trying to please everything is not the best course of action. Clear sycophancy will return. Nature and independence without aggression are natural choices for communication. All parents want to find a caring wife and mistress for their son in the house of the future family.
- Constantly watching your watch or your cell phone is terrible advice. When she went to such an important meeting, the girl had to leave some time in advance and postpone all business. Turn off the phone entirely during the call.
- Arrival in a foreign city. Another critical piece of advice, which applies more to a boy: if a girl comes to a meeting, you need to decide where she will spend the night in advance. Maybe parents will not care about young people sleeping in the same room. But if they have different opinions, you should consider this and consider all the options in advance.
Of course, it is impossible to foresee all the possible situations and advise on whom. Nevertheless, all of the above will significantly help any girl when she meets her parents.
The girl must understand that she will be valued at the first meeting of her life with her chosen parents. And its future may depend on this assessment. Therefore, you must prepare in advance: ask the guy about his mother and father, choose clothes for the meeting, remember the protocol, and so on. Behavior should be expected and moderately liberated. And sincerity and goodwill during communication will judge the whole session to success.